Soundtracks of a Life Read online

  Soundtracks of a Life

  Carina Lupo

  In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the author at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  Author’s Note

  When I started writing this book I immediately experienced a dilemma. How does one write a story about a character to which music is such a substantial part of the character’s life? How do you write a story where music is an integral part, but without music? The only logical answer seemed to be by adding a soundtrack to accompany the story. As the writer, if I had simply composed lyrics to go along with the times when the main character was composing her music, the reader would still miss the musical element, after all, lyrics without sound is just poetry… like watching a movie scene without the soundtrack, the viewer can’t connect to the feelings that music can deliver so beautifully. So I added a series of songs to accompany the story. They are suggestions of songs to listen that convey the experience that the heroine is going through at that moment of the story. As a reader you can opt to explore the character’s feelings further by listening to the songs laid out on the footnotes if you choose to. It is my hope that this suggested auditory enhancement to the printed word brings you joy, exploring a collection of truly wonderful songs crafted by some great musicians of our time.

  All artists and labels involved with the songs suggested; singers, musicians, songwriters, producers, etc., are in no way related to this book. They retain full copyright of their work and the author strongly suggests that if you are interested in exploring these songs that you purchase them via one of the many legal distribution stores for these artists music.

  Enjoy,

  Carina

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Epilogue

  Prologue

  I was fourteen years old on that fateful Monday morning. I didn’t know my life was about to change drastically right at that moment, I guess we never get the luxury of receiving a warning about these things.

  My parents were at a small local airport ready to board a twin engine plane to a business meeting in LA. My older sister was at college and I was to stay in the care of the nanny, against my many requests. Not that I didn’t like her, she was nice, but I was fourteen, therefore completely believed that I was old enough to be on my own and a nanny was an insult to my adulthood.

  Little did I know I would spend the next years of my life wishing I did not have to be on my own. I kissed my dad goodbye and he promised me to take me to the symphony, when he returned in a couple of days, to make it up to me. Being a gifted piano player at fourteen, he always encouraged my talent by taking me to any concerts I wanted and I absolutely loved it.

  We stayed to watch the plane leave and I saw as the plane made its run through the runway but it never took off, it just skidded off the runaway and crashed at a sandbank next to the end of the runway. Emergency crews immediately ran to the scene but did not make it in time. With all the fuel that spilled out, the plane blew up almost immediately. In the chaos, no one noticed the fourteen year old girl that ran onto the runway. I just stood there crying and watching the flames, not able to comprehend that just like that, in a fateful second I would never see my parents again.

  After that, life changed dramatically. My sister dropped out of school to take care of me. I’m sure she never envisioned having to become a single parent so soon in her life and having to abandon all her dreams to raise her fourteen year old sister. But she was strong, stronger than I ever was, and in spite of having to deal with her own grief of the loss of our parents, she did her very best to be there for me and try to keep my life as stable as she possibly could. It was hard but we managed to scrape together what was left of our family and fashion a new life for ourselves. She became my mother, my sister and my best friend.

  But my new life was not meant to last long either… I was eighteen when I was visited by tragedy once more. It is funny as I look back on those days how normal they were. There was no feeling in the air, no great sense of rush or of time standing still. The sun shined, our alarm clocks went off, we got up, had breakfast while watching the Today Show. Then she got into her car, I was leaving to go somewhere… I don’t remember now where. I saw her car turn the corner and that was the last time I saw my sister…

  Chapter 1

  Music, my one and true companion throughout my life, is what kept me going, well that and sometimes alcohol, I must admit. I had my moments when I just wanted to numb the pain. Who was going to blame me?

  I was in my first year at Stanford majoring in Music. I had not decided yet what direction I was going to go with that. My teachers were saying I had the talent to go for orchestra conducting if I wanted and were trying to push me towards that direction. Me, I was too in love with my guitar to think about that. I could play the piano since I was eight. I picked up the guitar shortly after my parents death and I fell in love with it ever since. I guess it was a good outlet for all the emotions I had. When everything becomes too much to take in, just drown your sorrow and rage in loud screeching guitar sounds. It was good therapy and healthier than drinking, though if you asked my fingers they would probably disagree, but the physical pain of playing the guitar was a major contributor as to why it was so effective too.

  I was always actively writing music, channeling all my demons into songs on a piece paper. That was also one of the best therapies money could not buy and just like that I got by, day by day.

  With so many songs burning a hole in my pocket I decided it was time to put together a band with some friends and try out some of them in the world, scary as the thought may be. It’s a weird thing if you think about it. Here it is… the deepest darkest corners of my soul for your entertainment!

  I would be on vocals, piano and guitar, then first up on my list was Ted, a drummer, a scrawny guy with dark brown eyes, dark skin and messy hair. Like most drummers, he was a very intense guy, very nice, but really intense. He is my friend and my go to guy for those drink to numb the pain moments, but I mostly tried to stay away from him. I had too much intensity in my life as it was. Nonetheless, he was always very kind to me and agreed immediately to join my band. He was one of those people you can always count on for some adventure. James was my choice for bass player. A sweet guy, tall with flowing dark hair and blue eyes, he has this smart look to him and is handsome but not overly so. James was mostly into jazz and preferred to play that instead of what I had in mind, but he was the best bass player and also my best friend so I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I said he had a lifetime of playing jazz for all of ten people and might as well enjoy some audiences while he could!

  We deci
ded to call ourselves Paper Cuts, a terrible band name like only first band names get. I hope we were drunk when we chose that, I can’t remember… that’s probably a good sign!

  I actually wanted one more person to join the band, another guitarist who, ideally, could also play the piano. That way he could play piano while I played guitar and vice-versa or just have an extra guitar on certain songs. But I guess I was picky on this subject. I hadn’t found anyone yet that I liked. Also, the guitar world is definitely a boys club and I was the odd one out, so I can’t say I got along with most of them, which didn’t help. We decided for now, we would just start with the three of us.

  In spite our horrible band name, we did start to book some gigs at local bars. My teachers were terribly disappointed at this endeavor and disapproved of what they considered a waste of my talent.

  But I didn’t care, we were having a blast and actually playing the songs was less scary than I thought and a lot more therapeutic than I would’ve imagined. Seeing people enjoy the songs and connect with them made me feel better in some weird way.

  We are getting together for rehearsals in an empty classroom in the campus. Ted and I are silently starting to unpack our gear getting ready when James arrives with a big smile on his face.

  “I have an announcement to make to my fellow Paper Cutters,” he says solemnly.

  “Ugh,” I say twisting my face in disgust, “I actually didn’t think this name could get any worse but I was wrong!”

  He ignores me and proceeds with his announcement. “I was just talking to Jeff. He is the president of the Law School Review…”

  Ted interrupts, “Wow, wow, wow! Hold on a second. Since when do you have friends at the Law Review?”

  “You know, Ted, those snobbish jazz players. He was congregating with his future listeners.” Ted and I have a good laugh but James is a good sport and is not deterred by our mocking.

  “As I was saying… I was talking to Jeff and they will have this big party for the Law School and they are looking for a band. Apparently he heard of us and asked us to play at the party! There will be something like 200 people there!”

  “Wow our biggest gig yet!” I say now impressed.

  “And get this! They are paying us $800 bucks for the concert.”

  “My, my”, Ted says, “I should have gone into law… what kind of student pays $800 bucks for a school band to play for their party?”

  “It does not reflect well on Jeff’s future as an attorney,” I mock.

  “You two are mean,” James says trying to reprimand us, but he is laughing too. “Anyway,” he continues, “who cares! We get to play for 200 people and get our biggest pay check yet!”

  “I say we go out tonight and celebrate James’ snobbish rich friends!” Ted says with a cheer.

  Chapter 2

  Saturday night is upon us and we are buzzing. It is kind of daunting being on the stage with that many people watching. Usually our gig at bars consisted of no more than 50 people and we don’t think half of them were paying that much attention to us anyway.

  Nonetheless, we had practiced hard, chosen a good set of what we considered to be our best songs and we were ready, or as ready as we would ever be.

  James takes a peek at the audience and says, “I think I’m going to barf… I’m seriously rethinking my career choice here.”

  “Don’t worry”, I tease him, “as soon as you start playing that Jazz of yours you won’t have to worry about issues like big audiences anymore.”

  He gives me a nervous laugh.

  “Seriously though, you are going to be fine. You are a kick ass bass player and compared to what you normally play for your classes this is a breeze and you know it. Just keep your dinner down and you will be great!” I give him an encouraging pat in the back.

  Then out of the blue Ted blurts out, “Guys! I just had an epiphany.”

  “Oh boy…” I say rolling my eyes.

  James laughs and adds, “Whatever it is, I’m already impressed you even know the meaning of the word epiphany!”

  “No, no, no, hear me out guys, I’m serious, how about we call ourselves the Paper Shredders!” He says this new name with a spark in his eyes and moving his hand for that “marquee” effect.

  We all burst out laughing.

  “I’m actually saddened to say that is much better than our current name!” I admit while looking down at my watch. “Too late now guys it’s time to hit the stage… Paper Cuts it is. Take a deep breath and here we go.”

  We enter the small dark stage and the crowd starts clapping and cheering. We are all very nervous but as soon as we start playing, all of our fears dissipate and we just start to have fun. We have very good stage chemistry and we really enjoy playing with each other. The songs are a hit and people are having a good time cheering us on constantly. There is this electricity to the place with the music and the audience, and right there, I felt a carefree feeling that I had not felt for a long time in my life. I felt happy.

  All pumped with adrenaline and stocked with our success we keep the show going longer than planned but even in spite of that, it seems like it is over before we know it.

  Trying to avoid as much as possible the dreary task of packing all our gear, we take a sit by the stage to have some drinks, relax and bask in the glory of our success before starting the work. Lots of people come by to say hello, chat and congratulate us. That’s when I first see him….

  Looking back I guess you could say that was another moment that would change my life. But this time, for the first time, it would be for better.

  He walks straight to me, full of confidence, very tall with perfect blond hair to his shoulders and deep blue eyes… he is so handsome it hurt.

  “Hi,” he says giving me a smile to die for. “I just wanted to say congratulations, it was an awesome show.” We all say thanks. Then he looks straight into my eyes, and continues to talk directly with me.

  “You are an amazing guitar player.”

  “If you continue that statement with “for a girl”… you’re going to break my heart.” I smile at him.

  “No,” he says looking away with a cute, shy smile, “for anyone. You have some killer skills.”

  “Thanks.”

  “How long you’ve been playing?”

  “About five years now.”

  “Wow.”

  Ted interrupts our candid moment. “In case you don’t know, jock, that is not very long to be playing as good as she does.” He sounded rude but it was a bit of a big brother thing kicking in as they thought he was there to flirt with me.

  “Jock? Who said I’m a jock? And yes I do know that thank you.” He responds in a rather sarcastic tone.

  “Well forgive my friend’s leap of faith. You don’t get to be an artist unless you have a good imagination… In his defense you do kind of look the part,” I say jokingly taking another swig of beer. “So you are in Law School?”

  “Yes, 3rd year.”

  “My condolences.” I mock him.

  He laughs looking away shyly.

  “Just kidding. So you play guitar I take it?”

  “Yes, I’ve played since I was twelve and I can say I’m not nearly as good as you are.”

  “Hmmm a guitar playing lawyer. That sounds interesting. Now, I don’t usually let anyone play “my precious”, that’s my guitar, but I will make an exception here. Why don’t you show us what you’ve got?”

  Caught off guard he is clearly taken aback by my proposition. “What? No, I’m…” He mumbles unsure of what to say.

  Ted jumps in the conversation again and starts’ making chicken sounds and James starts cracking up next to him.

  “Ted, c’mon man,” I say hitting him in the arm. “Its okay, don’t pay attention to them, I was just curious and I didn’t mean to put you in the spotlight like that, ignore them. Thanks for the compliments it was nice meeting you… what’s your name?”

  “Chris… Chris Henderson.”

  “Nice meeting y
ou Chris. I’m Lorelai Hathaway.”

  The chicken sounds continue nonstop in the back. He looks at me a bit torn, and then he finally says, “Ok, if I may.” He reaches for my guitar. I nod him the go ahead.

  He starts playing and he is really good, just as good as many of my fellow guitar classmates. That quieted the guys instantly. He finishes his solo and gives me my guitar back.

  “Thanks. That is a nice guitar.”

  “You are better than you give yourself credit for!” I say to him truly impressed.

  James decides to make amends now, “yeah men, sorry we are usually asses so don’t mind us. That was very good.”

  Ted mumbles a sorry too. His sorry was definitely less believable.

  “Thanks,” he says smiling with the kind of boyish satisfaction that he is now “in” with the guys. Why does he have to be so damn charming?

  “Well it was nice meeting you guys. See you around.” He says happily and starts to walk away.

  Chapter 3

  Next day I’m having a lazy Sunday, enjoying the afternoon sun, sitting by a tree at the Campus lawn, engrossed reading a book when I hear someone say, “hello again!” I look up, shielding my eyes from the sun light and there is Chris and yes he is just as handsome as I remember him from the night before.

  “Hi,” he says again once he sees he has my attention. “Recovered from the show last night?”

  “Pretty much. I’m ready for the next. That was fun.”

  “You want to go grab a cup of coffee?”

  “Sure.” I say and he extends his hand to help me up. We walk to the Café nearby and order a couple of coffees.

  “Sorry I put you in the spotlight yesterday.” I say when we take a table.

  “Nah it’s ok.” He replies dismissively.

  “You are a very good player. Do you play anything else or just guitar?”

  “I play some piano too. I had lessons when I was a kid, my parents were very into it and thought I should learn but I always preferred the guitar.”